So I had a blog on myspace, but there are aspects of my life that I want separate from such a public forum. This seems like a good solution.
I guess I should make my first post a dramatic one.
First off, I think I got pink eye from a patient I had Monday night. Ick!! I'm hoping and praying (as much as an agnostic would) that I don't actually have it.
Second, M (my current.. err.. flame) told me he loves me twice. And I didn't say anything back either time. I had no idea what to say!!! Here's the situation..
Last night M called me and said I should join him and his friends at Spanish Kitchen for $2 taco night. They were washing their cheap food down with $18 margaritas. Only in L.A. would one find a margarita with FIVE shots of tequila in it.
After dinner we all headed to Beige. There was talking, flirting, meeting new people. It was wonderful!!! Culture shock moment of the week: It's not unusual for a guy to take your bra off of you in public. I looked to M's BFF (whom I shall refer to as MC for the awesome ass Mini Cooper she drives) for help as M was unhooking my bra and pulling down the straps. Her words: "Just go with it!" MC grabbed my bra from M and hid it under a cushion. As much as I dislike PDA, there was lots of it going on.. everywhere!!
Needless to say, I ended up at M's place. We were lying in bed talking (seriously!), when he gazed at me, brushed a stray piece of hair from my eyes and said "I love you". He immediately realized what he said and made a swift recovery with "Your personality, I love your personality." I was so relieved that he made an attempt to cover because I had no idea how to respond!! All was fine and good until the next morning when we were.. uh.. expressing our feelings for each other physically that he whispered "I love you" to me. Instead of saying anything back I just moaned and pretended not to hear.
I really really like M, but I haven't even known him a month and I honestly don't think I have enough to offer emotionally. I'm going through a lot right now, trying to adjust and also figure out my next move. I really REALLY don't want to have to deal with this right now. Wouldn't most girls love to hear those three words come out of a boy's mouth? I'm a freak of nature, I guess..
About Me
- Siena Phoenix
- I live my life one day at a time, though I try desperately to map it out and plan it. Also, I like being cryptic. According to Wikipedia: cardiac ectopy is a disturbance of the electrical conduction system of the heart, in which beats arise from the wrong part of the heart muscle. It can lead to serious arrythmia.
8 comments:
Wow... if someone stole my bra in public, there would be fists flying! Unless I was really drunk... in which case... I wouldn't notice.
I'm glad to see you started a blog here!
One month is awfully early for the 'love' phase. Lust is a very strong emotion that is easily mistaken! You are fabulous, though... so I don't blame him!
MJ- I can totally see you laying the smack down on someone for such an offense.
You inspired me to start a blog on here.. I found Myspace to be so overexposed, so this is nice. :)
I say the next time he comes over you show him fabric swatches for your new house together.
Ok, maybe not.
You are a person who inspires strong feelings in people. Take that as a compliment and be up front with him about your feelings, even when they aren't what he wants to hear. Either he'll be a grown up and deal, or he won't, and you'll have gotten this out of the way at an early point.
It sounds like you are having fun and finding your comfort zone. he'll respect that for what it's worth, I bet.
Uhh.......wow is all I have to say. Either he falls fast or you got him wrapped around your little finger. I don't think you should have to feel obligated to say anything to him. Those two times should give him enough hints as to how unsure you are. He shouldn't be pushing it if you ask me. If he keeps saying it it'll either push your away, make you feel obligated to say i love you, orrrr awaken feelings you may have not noticed. So...we'll see which one it is!
Hay girly girl. It's "Willow" in SC. Wow sounds like you have had one heck of a night. Seriously though, you don't give yourself enough credit. You are a wonderful person. You know we luv ya. ^_~
if someone stole my bra in public they'd be disappinted to find my grandma boobs down to my knees....
don't worry about it. if he really loves you he'll stick around without your response, because he won't be able to live without you....
and chakyra, read your advice again
He shouldn't be pushing it if you ask me. If he keeps saying it it'll either push your away, make you feel obligated to say i love you
kit- I'm constantly discovering new things about myself because of other people's observations. Weird.
I'll be sure to prepare something to say in case the incident happens again.
chakrya- Hmm.. perhaps I should exploit this situation so I can have a sugah daddy. BTW, we need to go shopping again so I can get more fabulous shoes!
willow- Awww, shucks. I heart you guys! Can't wait to see you in October!
angie- Grandma boobs?! Is that why you work at Victoria's Secret, to get the best bras possible to compensate?
Nah, I think you did the right thing. Yeah most girls would love to hear those 3 letter words, but we want to hear it with meaning, honesty, and devotion not just for the cliche of it. I'm proud of you woman :-D
~Rathchavady
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